Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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