you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
