No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
