I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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