Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
