I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
