you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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