in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
