i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
