Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize