so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Found the puke drawer
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
