Banned from zoo.
Again?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he was CRYING into my vagina
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
