I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
