She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
