before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
