so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
