I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
