TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
