Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
