i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
