You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
