Christians are straight up FREAKS
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
