we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
