she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
