I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
