just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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