alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
