I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
