The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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