i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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