I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
