I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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