Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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