saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
