just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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