Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
