We need to rekindle our bromance
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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