some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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