how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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