Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
