He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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