About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
