do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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