somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
