I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
