mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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