ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
