i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
