when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
