I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
