I skipped work to stalk him.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
