id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My life is pants optional.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
