after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
