Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

ID DO HER

(1-904): View more from Florida

SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.

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(518): View more from New York

i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

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(858): View more from California

dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.

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(216): View more from Ohio

She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.

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(443): View more from Maryland

At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...

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(417): View more from Missouri

I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.

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(630): View more from Illinois

How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?

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(618): View more from Illinois

I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.

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