with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
